Nothing to do with reviews! This is about something I tried for the first time with ‘Limerence’. In my other stories, you follow the main character throughout, either in first person or third person.
I wasn’t very far into the tale of crossdressing naval architect David Ferndale and his stalker when I realised that I didn’t want to tell it in an omniscient ‘god mode’. I sensed that it’d be a lot more interesting to see all the anxieties and misconceptions of both parties.
Thus, I embarked on my first ‘multiple POV’ project, and I really enjoyed it. I don’t particularly like comic books (are we supposed to say ‘graphic novels’ now?) but one thing that’s intriguing about that format is the “thinks” bubble. Those cloudy-shaped ones that allow the creator to reveal a person’s motivation; their fears; their flaws. (Here’s a great little article about multiple POV, by the way.)
Unless you want to write in a way that grants the reader special knowledge, peeping into the heads of any character when it’s necessary in order to advance the story, you only get to report on the perceptions of one, influenced by what they see and hear of others. (Will Hollington in ‘Ground Rush‘, for example.) With ‘Limerence’ I chose to have two points of view, and a strict format: David gets the odd-numbered chapters while the troubled Amelia gets the even-numbered ones.
In effect, I got to take a second ‘bite’ at a scene, any time I wanted it – to show how differently each character perceived the moments they shared.
| From Chapter Three | From Chapter Four |
| David emerged into a world washed clean by the rain and he took a moment to enjoy the distinctive, earthy smell in the air. The storm had blown itself out during the night and the new day looked to be set fair. It demanded another eight hours of work in his windowless office, but for now he could enjoy it. Amelia was there, reaching underneath his car for some reason. She looked embarrassed to be caught in a pose that had presented her bottom to him and she stood, fussing with her hair. “David! Er… hi.” He couldn’t help smiling – not least because of the view she’d presented him with, in her jodhpurs. “Good morning, Amelia. Have you lost something?” “It was a crisp packet. Not mine! I mean… the wind last night must’ve knocked somebody’s bin over, because there was rubbish everywhere. I’ve been picking it up.” Now David was the one who was embarrassed. “You really don’t have to pick up litter in my garden.” | Amelia did not have a good day. First, there had been that business of getting caught with her arse in the air, like a cat’s mating display – which would have been nice if it had worked, but past experience had shown that the Beloved was unlikely to be swayed by such things. Amelia had tried being flirty before. At least she’d picked up some of the litter from his garden. She liked to do little jobs for him. The habitual little frown that he wore was nothing but adorable, but she wanted to soothe it away if she could. If only she could prepare his packed lunches, or come in and mix him a cocktail in the evening so that he could relax while she did the washing-up, or something. Maybe offer herself to him for some sex, no strings attached. Shit. Of course there were strings attached. She wanted to be Mrs Amelia Ferndale, the mother of his children. How many would he want? Three. That’d be perfect: a strong, tall son, a beautiful daughter, slightly younger, and an adorable little baby that made them both smile, sharing a joke as he or she gurgled. |
When you consider how many secrets and lies are festering beneath these interactions, the second point of view was not merely useful, but very valuable. I found that Amelia grew as a consequence: I became much more sympathetic toward her, despite the chaos that she brings.
Limerence got a small update yesterday, fixing a few small errors and also giving the book a new cover. The original showed Amelia peeping from concealment, whereas the new version shows her in full. I’d love to know what you think.
‘Limerence’ is available from Amazon, like all my other books – but you can also check out the free stories hosted here on WordPress.
Sugar and Spiiice 